Posterous dies on 4/30/2013 so I've moved all my content and switched to Blogger.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Crazy Mother Shuckers

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Pump Track and Skills Park

Fared well in the storm. Only 2 noteworthy items:

One tree down over very end of expert rock feature.

Another branch fell and perfectly blocked the cut thru that folks had been riding between Return trail and top of Melanie’a Madness. +1 for the storm.

Insect

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Yesterday was hotter

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Only 91.8 right now. This pic is from Friday.

Carnage in Patapsco

Me and Carl rolled from my house at 5:45 this morning.

The rain on the trails was just what the Dr. ordered to take a away the dangerous dusty conditions.  But the microburst T-storm cells that passed thru last night did more damage than I've seen in the 15 years I've been riding there combined!

Leaf and twig debris is everywhere.  Wrist sized branches are down about every 50-150 feet or so.  Giant trees are down too.  No trail is unaffected.  It's going to take a lot of hours of chainsawing and pulling branches from the trails before they are ridable without frequent dismounting.

We did a regular counter clockwise loop with nothing added at all.  Belmont downhill to Rockburn Branch only has one obstacle that needs a chain saw.  Rockburn Branch we didn't do the up down up, we just went up the right...can't recall but probably a couple of spots in need of sawing.  Ridge was horrible at least half a dozen big trees down everywhere.  One tree fell over the footbridge and the rock creek crossing...literally took out both lines.  Cascade only had one big one down...I think.  Big tree down between Grovemont and Norris Lane...again!   Lewis and Clark wasn't that bad if I remember correctly. Morning Choice log intersection is obliterated by a giant tree.  Log Trail was hard hit with about 4 or 5 trees down in a row just before the creek crossing.  Farm Field has no trees down;-)  Belmont on the way out from Farm FIled fared pretty well too.

Ebae and Colin were rolling in via Belmont just as we were rolling out.  Jen's out jogging now and will be home soon with a Nacho Renegade carnage report.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

I love Woot

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Condition: New

Nice leopard print tampon holder. I thought the purpose of tampons was to prevent spotting.

:::RIMSHOT:::

If you always want them close by, you should probably store them in the kitchen instead.

:::RIMSHOT:::

The suction cups are super strong, just like a certain clingy broad I know.

:::RIMSHOT:::

The case is water resistant, so just go over there and cry instead of bothering me with your "feelings."

:::THAT WASN'T A JOKE. THAT WAS JUST MEAN:::

Someone must be PMS-ing.

:::SERIOUSLY. THIS ISN'T FUNNY AT ALL:::

It's a little funny.

:::NO IT'S NOT. IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY OFFENSIVE:::

Fine. I'm done now.

:::THAT'S PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA:::

Not like you can ever win an argument with a woman anyway.

:::RIMSHOT:::

In the box:

(1) Tbox L001 Tampon Holder, Leopard

Monday, June 25, 2012

XClinometer (+bubble-level)

I Love Science - Shirt.Woot

The 9 weirdest animal penises on Earth - The Week

The List

The 9 weirdest animal penises on Earth

From the hand-like retractables of dolphins to the dagger-esque spikes of tiny bugs, here are a few of the animal kingdom's stranger male sex organs

posted on June 22, 2012, at 7:55 AM
Dolphins have retractable, hand-like, penises that grope around for potential mates. Not so cute now are they?

Dolphins have retractable, hand-like, penises that grope around for potential mates. Not so cute now are they? Photo: Thinkstock/Zoonar SEE ALL 92 PHOTOS

Procreating is serious business in the animal kingdom, and Mother Nature has gone out of her way to cleverly ensure the survival of her many, many denizens. From sex organs with multiple heads to prodigious shafts exceeding an animal's own body length, here are nine of the weirdest (and often scariest) animal penises on the planet:  

1. The massive, terrifying penis of sea turtles
Male sea turtles are "horrifically" well-endowed, says Darren Naish at Scientific American. Softshell varieties like the leatherback have penises that, when erect, extend to nearly half the animal's 8-foot body length. The endpoint culminates in a five-lobed head that discharges semen from four different branches (think: Ridley Scott's Aliens franchise). Scientists surmise that males evolved these "innovative penises" in order to inseminate females from long distances, namely to get past their protective shells and bulky, swatting tails. 

2. The Argentine bluebird duck's long corkscrew
Most male birds don't have penises. But a few, such as the Argentine lake duck, more than make up for it, says Miss Cellania at Mental Floss. The duck's penis is shaped like a corkscrew and can extend to more than 17 inches. (The bird is only 16 inches tall.) Females are often observed trying to fly away from an eager mate, leading experts to believe that the long penis could be an evolutionary response that makes forced copulation easier. "Conversely, the long penis could be the reason the females try to escape." 

3. The warehouse pirate bug's dagger-like shaft
The warehouse pirate bug is typically used to guard grain storage warehouses, where it chows down on threatening moths and larvae. The tiny 3mm (0.11 inch) creature also practices one of the animal kingdom's most dangerous copulation methods: Its spiny penis is razor-sharp, and instead of inseminating females by traditional means, the bug uses its sex organ to violently stab through her exoskeleton in order to ejaculate. This leaves "gaping, seeping wounds" in female pirate bugs, who often die shortly after giving birth.

4. Dolphins' retractable "hand"
The good-natured swimmers have retractable penises that are kind of like multi-tools. Not only does the male dolphin's penis swivel around, but it's often also used to feel out other objects, kind of like a human hand. This gives the dolphin a "ravenous sexual appetite," says Neatorama, and could help explain why males are often seen trying to "hump inanimate objects" and "other animals like sea turtles."

5. Flatworms' fencing penises
Flatworms are hermaphrodites, meaning they have both male and female sex organs, which triggers some seriously odd reproductive behavior. When trying to impregnate another worm, for example, a flatworm tries to pierce the skin of the other using its penis. Experts term this heated competition "penis fencing": The first to successfully impregnate the other while fending off advances becomes the de facto male, who wins because he won't have to expend the energy required to carry eggs. 

6. The echidna's turn-taking heads
The echidna, also known as the spiny anteater, is native to Australia and New Guinea. Like its cousin the platypus, echidna females lay eggs instead of giving birth like other mammals. Scientists, however, have long been perplexed by the male anteater's mysterious sex organ, which secretes semen from four different heads. Getting all four of these into a female is impossible when fully engorged, so the echidna only insert two at any given time. Studies suggest that going halfsies may make the individual sperm swim faster.

7. The orb spider's burdensome load
Male orb spiders detach their penis and insert them in female spiders to impregnate them, says Jennifer Welsh at LiveScience. Having penis-detached intercourse allows the male spiders to not only escape the hungry female — who successfully eats the male 75 percent of the time — but also gives them a better chance of fending off competing males. New research suggests that without the extra weight bogging them down, the new eunuchs become "superior fighters," with enhanced endurance that gives them a better shot at surviving. 

8. The barnacle's accordion-like organ
Though they don't appear to do much more than stick to the underside of boats, barnacles actually possess one of the longest penises in the world — at least relative to their body size. The filament-like penis extending from its shell has an exoskeleton with "accordion-like folds" that stretch out to inseminate nearby females. Barnacles that live near shore breaks often develop thicker, heartier manparts to survive the crash of oncoming waves. 

9. The argonaut octopus' detachable worm
Male argonauts are much smaller than females — only 3/4 of an inch versus a gal's 4 inches. That's why when attempting to mate, the dimunitive male argonaut octupus tries to maintain its distance, using a "special tentacle" that detaches from its body. The swimming penis squirms its way over to the female to deliver semen to her waiting eggs. The practice is so deceptive, in fact, that when Italian scientists first discovered it in the 1800s, they thought it was a new kind of parasitic worm.

RedditPics - Why you shouldn't lie about selling a used phone...

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Evil Love

Bizzaro Bills DP

Muggy at dawn. Rolled up to Landing via road at 6:03 and Jelly had already started Nacho. A few quick texts and we were united.

Awesome ride.  Saw a fox in the Morning Choice Belmont meadow.  Rolled over to Balto and hit the Vineyard>NunneryTripleLog.  Turtle at top of Vineyarrd Jelly cleaned for a first timer.

Rolled up Cascade and scoped out the Big Un' Stack of Poplar(?) near the footbridges.  Repaired it a bit and then with a little purely-platonic-bromantic-encouragement from Jelly, I rolled it for the first time since January.

Still got it;-)

 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Bike Ninja

Slow Donnie

What I just had for lunch at work

Snausages

Singling With KR and KC

Rolled out on the 1X1 for the first time in weeks.  Felt good to be back on underinflated tires on a rigid rig.  Used finesse to keep from rimming out on every bumb.

Pretty musch a regular clockwise loop with good weather, great trail conditions, and good conversation.  Saw many deer and a turtle

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KC was showing off his new Father's Day RingleStan 9er wheels, but they're not mounted yet.

 

Me and Ben Catching Rockfish

No luck at the Thomas Point Lighthouse.

Lot's of luck at the Sandy Point Lighthouse.
Ben pulled in 19 rockfish.  I pulled in 7.
Our captain and his son pulled in at least 20 each.
None of them keepers (ranged from 6 to 12 inches).

It was Bay Bridge Swim Day and for a while it looked like we'd not be able to return to port til dinner, but we made it back in time for lunch!


Fish Love It!

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Whisper Filter, Baby!

Another reason not use Strava..big brother is watching!

"The San Francisco Examiner reported that cyclist Chris Bucchere has been charged with felony manslaughter in the death of pedestrian Sutchi Hui on March 29th of this year. According to prosecutors, Bucchere was tracking his speed using Strava at the time, and his on-bike GPS showed that he was moving more than 35 mph in a 25 mph zone. "

Link to the full article on VeloNews.

My cukes are loving life

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Monday, June 18, 2012

Father's Day Ride

Me, W, Fran, and Jonathan met at Landing at 7 with perfect weather and the intention of riding HoCO and BaltCo.

Renegade>

Nacho>

Rockburn Brach up the right>

Ridge>

Valley View>

Swimming Prohibited>

Soapstone to Park and Ride>By down the overgrown trail that heads closer to Gun Road (ouchy jaggers everywhere)>

up gravel Cardiac Soapstone>right on the less travelled Santee Branch (also overgrown and jaggery-hike a bike thru a steep deep ravine

after the ravine there's a jaggery sidehill trail that I was doing a pretty good job of cleaning until I fell off and landed in a contorted-bike-on-top-of-me-full-split into a bed of jaggers--Doh!)>

made a left at the end of this trail up Heartbreak(?)--the one that we come down to do the Bull Run loop>

Vineyard Hiking Only alternate (I was out front with Jonathan on my wheel and realized when things got steep and loose that I had both brake levers pressed all the way to the bar and had no more brake power..I held on and rode the bottom section out way faster than I would have liked somhow managing to keep from wrecking.  Fran crashed and hurt his wrist so he and W rode out on Gristmill to Bonnie Branch.  Jonathan and I pressed on.)>

Up Vineyard>down Nuns Run Triple Log>over the swinging bridge>Ridge>Connector>Old Track>Lewis and Clark>Norris Lane>Morning Choice (cascade direction)>Lewis and Clark>Morning Choice>Log

'Bout an 18 miler, yo!

Where's My Cake Bedelia?

Happy Belated Father's Day!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

It's all about Performance...

Triple

...that's the name of the game.

I buy a $1500 bike one day, then bring $450 store credit back the next day to get a Garmin, pedals, shoes, etc. 

Hotel Coral Essex T-Shirt

Gotta get me one of these:

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Remember Revenge of the Nerds 2?

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