Two Tubes, One Cup! (If you get that joke then you are a much dirtier bird than I thought, dirty bird!)
Drill rim for Schrader, Schroeder.
Stretch a 20" BMX tube on, Stretch.
Slice down the center line all the way round, Sharpie.
Even out the flaps, Flappy.
Soapy rag the talcum off the inner tube, Dusty.
Wash the tire bead too, Beady.
Mount the tire, brotha.
Get the compressor, sista.
Slather up the rubber with soap and water, Blaster, and blast her with the compressor til the bead seats straight.
Deflate. Pop off some bead on one side, Stan. Add two measuring cups of Stan's.
Wait for the thermal overload switch on the compressor to cool off, Dumba$$. SH1T!
Blast her with compressed air again until she seats up right. THIS IS DEFINITELY THE HARDEST STEP, IRENE!
Wipe off the Stan's that got every where, Messy.
Trim the flaps off, Carefully. Best to just move the scissor against the rim and keep moving...use sharp scissors;-)
Put the wheel on the bike and crack open a cold one, Chachi!
Check her tomorrow morning and see if she's got air, Mr. Confident.
Ride her tomorrow afternoon, Jack A$$!
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